I am tired and I really need to go to bed, but I felt this was too important to wait. I recently discovered that at least one person was reading my blog trolling for tricks, and she is basically an anorexia wanna-be who wants to lose weight.
IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR WAYS TO DEVELOP ANOREXIA, I SUGGEST YOU MOVE ON AND FIND ONE OF THE MANY PRO-ANA SITES SUCKING UP SPACE ON THE INTERNET.
I wouldn't wish anorexia on my worst enemy, and at first I was horrified that I might have been part of giving someone ideas how to starve, etc. I recently suffered a serious relapse - I could have died - and it was triggered in part by my own involvement, through an alternate profile, with pro-ana sites and activities. It is easy to get sucked into them, to buy into the Ana creed and all that crap. It was all part of my sick, starving mind that drew me in and didn't allow me to see these sites for the evil places they are.
I'm not going to lie. I still sometimes look at these sites; it's still a pull I am fighting. But this blog will never never turn pro-ana; I will destroy it first.
I will continue to write about my struggles with anorexia and I will continue to be honest in my posts. I believe that helps both myself, and others feel less alone. Anorexia and other eating disorders are complex illnesses that involve many symptoms and actions - starvation, laxative abuse, self-harm such as cutting, and other things, and there are some things I will never be comfortable with sharing with the public.
But I believe it's important to keep writing and showing people the real face of anorexia, in all its pain and craziness.
And I beg of those who might be drawn to pro-ana sites — don't go there. You will regret it.