26 February 2010

If you are trolling for tips . . .

I am tired and I really need to go to bed, but I felt this was too important to wait. I recently discovered that at least one person was reading my blog trolling for tricks, and she is basically an anorexia wanna-be who wants to lose weight.


I wouldn't wish anorexia on my worst enemy, and at first I was horrified that I might have been part of giving someone ideas how to starve, etc. I recently suffered a serious relapse - I could have died - and it was triggered in part by my own involvement, through an alternate profile, with pro-ana sites and activities. It is easy to get sucked into them, to buy into the Ana creed and all that crap. It was all part of my sick, starving mind that drew me in and didn't allow me to see these sites for the evil places they are.

I'm not going to lie. I still sometimes look at these sites; it's still a pull I am fighting. But this blog will never never turn pro-ana; I will destroy it first.

I will continue to write about my struggles with anorexia and I will continue to be honest in my posts. I believe that helps both myself, and others feel less alone. Anorexia and other eating disorders are complex illnesses that involve many symptoms and actions - starvation, laxative abuse, self-harm such as cutting, and other things, and there are some things I will never be comfortable with sharing with the public.

But I believe it's important to keep writing and showing people the real face of anorexia, in all its pain and craziness.

And I beg of those who might be drawn to pro-ana sites — don't go there. You will regret it.


Eating Alone said...

Yep you need to stay away from those sites. They don't do you any good at all.

I'm glad you seem to be a little better now. Are you doing ok?

lisalisa said...

ugh I know. I am curious, how did you find out about this person? I have someone following my blog right now who I think is pro ana. I mean, her little picture thingy (you know, the little square that shows someone is following you. I dont know the term for it. i'm a big dummie) is just a picture of someone's ribs. Not so cool. I am trying myself to figure out what to do about it. I don't know really how to get in touch with this person because there is no link.
Stay strong and don't worry, I dont think anyone will get "tips" from your blog :)

Lou Lou said...

those sites are the worst thing ever. they have always made my life turn for the worst thats for sure.
how are you doing now? iv had a rough day today aswell. my treatment actually ended up in fraud. big time.
i have apro ana follower too. i clicked on her site to see my new "pal" and found some very triggering stuff.
not good.
hang in there.

Lou Lou said...

Hey lou lou here from boostforward, I am having to make my blog private in a few days as I want to continue blogging but something pretty shitty happened, I was going into treatment at a clinic, I have been in touch with the guy for a month now emails, calls and all kinds of things. My parents had been through the facility with him and sat with him for an hour discussing treatment plans and my history and my desperate need for help. i showed up yesterday after lunch like he said to, expecting to begin my treatment at the alcahol, dr*g and eating disorder clinic and stay for a month, mum and dad paid a lot of money, when we showed up nobody was there, it was a complete scam, he used to work there and it had stopped being operational a few weeks ago, it was deserted, unmarked and sickening. i really want to continue blogging. I just want to stay in touch with my blogsphere peoples whether they are anonymous or not, only thing is im turning boostforward to private cos i stupidly gave the guy my URL to show progress and history etc, I may have to change URL, untill this mess is figured out i have to do this. I am going to post this on peoples comments too. I am going to switch it to private in a few days. theres so much thats happened that i dont want to write just now while its public. please email me so i caninvite you to read my blog to my alias blogging email amanda.brunning@gmail.com ... not my name. if you aren't comfortable with that, i totally understand!
xx arohanui lou