28 November 2009

Weighty questions

This year was the first Thanksgiving in several years that I've been at a near-normal weight. I went to the family dinner with the intent to - this year, finally - enjoy the company and the food, to eat without fear. Then my mother looked at me and asked me, "How much do you weigh?" I was stunned, but I answered her. She then cheerfully replied how great it was that she didn't weigh much more than me. My first thought was, "Well, that's something to aspire to - compete with a recovering anorexic!" I sat at the meal, picked at my food, and barely choked some of it down.

How could I have responded? Could I have said, "Well, Mom, at least I'm healthier this year?" Or, "I'm aiming for health, numbers don't mean anything?" Or, "It's really none of your business?" My husband said afterward, "She just doesn't get it."

On the plus side, it was still great to see a lot of my family and to laugh and joke with them.


Jessica said...

I am sorry, some people just don't understand what to say, and make fools out of themselves you are taking steps in the right direction don't let her words make you think otherwise.

Angela said...

My mother is also very competitive with me when it comes to weight, and our conversations inevitably end up with whatever diet she is on at the moment. I have told her and told her that I can't talk about it, but she can't seem to help hersef. I always tell her that I'm not a number, and that it doesn't make up our worth. She just doesn't get it. I'm sorry that she said that to you. Holiday's that are centered around food are very difficult. Hang in there and remember that you are worth recovery and health!

Frugalista said...

what a horrible question to ask someone recovering from an ED. Bummer that you had to hear that right on Thanksgiving day.

Anonymous said...

I'm sure she meant well, but she certainly lacked tact with those comments.

lisalisa said...

What I thing for her to say!
Sometimes when I am with my mom and we are eating together she will say something like "oh I'm so bad, I shouldn't be eating this" and then I feel like "am I bad for eating this, because we are eating the same thing?". Sometimes they just don't get it. Remind yourself of your goals :health, wellness, happiness. Your healthy weight is one factor helping you achieve those goals. i know it's hard, but don't let her derail you.