I want to be thin again...it's all I can think about. I'm obsessed again.
Why doesn't my brain just shut-up and let me enjoy recovery??? By no stretch of the imagination am I overweight and I know that logically. But I just can't see it right now. I can't see that I'm a healthy woman with a healthy body, like people tell me. All I see is FAT. (And why am I so afraid of fat, anyway? I truly think it is a symptom of something else, a symptom caused by fear.)
Is anorexia going to haunt me forever???
All I think is after I defend my thesis, I can start restricting again.
I think of size zero and being tiny and how I've let myself go.
I hate being this vulnerable. When will it stop???