It's starting again. I want to be thin — so thin that I feel no pain.
I feel like everything has been taken away from me — my job, my identity, my life.
The only way is back. Back to where I was oh so close to the 80s. Why did I let them make me better? Because it's only made me better on the outside.
On the inside, I feel like I'm dying. So the outside needs to match the inside.
It's the only way.
Maybe I can regain what I've lost. Maybe I can be me again.