Maundy Thursday

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life." John 3:16

I knelt down and slowly, gently, poured the water on her feet. I thought of Jesus and his disciples, and how our Lord humbled himself to show His love, even to the one who would betray him.

What were his thoughts as he washed the dusty feet of his followers? Did his heart break, knowing that one would soon betray him? Did his heart swell with love?

Did he know that one day, thousands of years later, I would humble myself and wash the feet of a stranger?

I imagined Jesus and the Twelve Disciples traveling the dusty roads of Israel. It was hot and dry, but they walked with purpose and they walked with love.

It is Holy Week. A time when the veil between God and man is torn, a time in which I often can feel God's presence both in and around me.

And yet, at times, doubts plague me. Why?

The last three months have been both a time of turmoil and a time of reflection. What place do I have in this world? Where do I fit into the whole picture? How do I live my life for the glory of God, to the purpose He has for me?

And what about pain?

I know these are not unique thoughts. But these thought hammer me at night.

Sometimes I'm frightened. I pray for strength. I pray to know all the answers.

Of course, that is impossible. I will not know until the day I die. And maybe not even then.

I think about placing my feet into the basin. The lady — whose name I do not recall — pouring warm water over them. How relaxing. How humbling that another human being did that for me.

And Jesus was there.