20 April 2012

Angry (Again), Or Insert An Original Title HERE

You know, I really like Victoria's Secret bras, particularly the Wear Everywhere demis and push-ups ... so comfortable and affordable, now that I know the right size (turns out I am a C cup; bigger than I thought. Given the family I come from, all I can think is, Where did these breasts come from???)


But I digress...

What I don't like are the ads for these and other bras. I mean, come on, is it really necessary to sell bras using pouty, over-sexualized prepubescent females? Am I really going to run to my nearest VS store to buy the bras that I now need because it looks sexy on a woman? I mean, maybe if I was into women...and a pedophile, given the looks of some of these models. And VS isn't even the worse from what I've seen.

There was a time that my self-worth was tied up into how sexy men found me. If they didn't find me sexy and attractive, then ergo, I was not worthy; I was washed-up, I let myself go, I was ugly.

The ultimate sin in our society—to be ugly. Not to be stupid. Or unkind. Or stingy. Or....

And of course, who defines ugly? One person's ugly could be another person's beautiful. Why did society settle on a tall, prepubescent, blonde, white-with-blue-eyes-big-tits (but not too big) and totally flat stomach as the idea? I'm betting 99.9 percent of us do not fit this idea. Short.older.brunette.brown eyes.small boobs.a round stomach...(Although I do have blue eyes. But that doesn't negate my point.)

I could go on, but why bother?

I could say what started me on this rant was the fact I had to go out and buy bras, and by God, I don't look like the pouty model(s) staring blank-eye at me while trying to convince me to buy a bra that will make-me-two-cups-bigger! Or maybe it was the totally ridiculous perfume ads from the seventies, like the one for Love's Baby Soft that shows a Jon-Benet look-alike puckered up for the camera while clutching a teddy bear. Or perhaps it was the fact that I've finally started cleaning out my closet and was suddenly disgusted by my size-three anorexic clothes, because at one time it almost cost me my life to be that size and smaller, and what was the point of it all, anyway?

But the real truth is that I'm angry at being violated in December; angry that I can't say anything else, angry because one event has caused me to almost fall apart, to stay hidden in my house like I should be ashamed, dreading the moment when I must reveal to all the world (my world, at least) everything AND angry that I've allowed this to fester inside, while everything falls apart and my house hasn't been clean for months and ...

And the other day, my first thought was after I finish my thesis, I can go back to starving myself.

So this is for YOU—I will never go back to anorexia. Never. The.end.

(Are you happy, Dr. S? You asked me to do some personal writing, and this is what you get—a feminist rant. And I am done...for now.)

6 comments:

neonorangeds said...

I really liked this entry and your thoughts... I couldn't agree more that it is SO annoying to go into VS and see those pictures ALL OVER the place! I think I've maybe met ONE person in my entire life who had a figure like that. Some of us have the larger breasts and have a larger body to go with them, while others are tiny and flat. Every so often I go into a VS because they sell perfume at the one near me, or sometimes I hope to find something that will fit me... but I always wind up somewhat disgusted by the pictures. And I have to wonder how it makes their employees, who also don't look like the girls in the pictures, feel. I'm not really a fan of the whole "real women are curvy" thing either, but I just don't understand why VS has to have pictures that cover the ENTIRE wall on practically every wall... it's creepy if nothing else and it seems a bit overboard. Glad I'm not the only one who thinks this!!

Coyotewoman said...

You know what? Here's something I think you need to be told right here and now: you have every right to that anger, and you have nothing to be ashamed of. That you were violated (and that's yours to share or not as you wish) places the blame squarely on that other person. You've been fighting so hard for that Recovery - clench those fists a little tighter and hang onto it, because YOU DESERVE IT.

yogaduchess1982 said...

Very much enjoyed your "feminist rant!" Although I disagree that using pouty lipped, big breasted, teensy stomached models is a poor choice because truly, I love the supermodel and love the glamour of it all! I love the way in which they represent a hangar for the clothing. The clothing is the product. But by George, the body sure does help to sell it. In fact, I think that Victoria's Secret products are crap (except for the Betsy Johnson line which I don't even believe they carry anymore - I get my Betsy from Nordstrom). But Victoria's Secret has built their brand to be synonymous with sex. Do you feel that its target audience of the teeny bopper, 20-something young professional, and old man waiting to jerk off to the fashion show will best be achieved by older women with bigger bodies? No. Older women with bigger bodies are already shopping at Saks. By the way, lovely lady, based on your facebook pictures, you are prettier, more fit, and more vibrant than our pouty mouthed 17-year-olds in their chantelle wannabes. :)

yogaduchess1982 said...

AKA: I am still searching for an ounce of fat on your body. BUT, I am delighted to know that you are telling anorexia to take a backseat forever. Mwah!

Angela E. Gambrel said...

Thanks, all of you! I suppose I could boycott VS to make my point, but I do love the Everywhere (not Everyday, as I originally wrote) bras—it's hard for me to find bras that are both comfortable and inexpensive, and frankly, most lingerie ads give me a pain!

Leigh said...

A rant it may be, but a beautiful rant. I think you nailed it on the head. There are so many problems with our society. And eating disorders have been pinpointed to western culture.