18 June 2010

Dear Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,
Today I found this comment by you on a previous blog post: "Do your true friends really like you? Because I don't know many people who do. You are self obsessed and a very ugly person inside and out. You put on a front but everyone knows it is fake."

You need to know several things. First, this comment initially hurt me until I realized it must have come from a very sick and disturbed person. Now I only feel sorrow for someone who is so angry and hateful that the only way she is able to express it is by lashing out at someone else in such a gutless manner.

Second, you may think you are anonymous, but you are not. See the tiny little green and white box at the very bottom of my blog? That is a site meter. I am able to track every visit and comment made to my blog, including the place of origin, the Internet service provider and the type of computer and browser used. In this case the information was precise enough that I am 99.9 percent sure of who you are, Anonymous.

Why were you so afraid that you felt the need to hide behind anonymity? You obviously know me and could have approached me in person. I could speculate, but that would be wasting my mental energy on someone who doesn't deserve it.

I want you to be assured that your words mean nothing to me. I am very secure and surrounded by a loving husband and friends who value and support me on a daily basis. It just disturbs me that there are people like you in this world who feel the need to strike out at other people instead of dealing with the anger and resentment in a more appropriate manner.

Several people have suggested that I close this blog to anonymous comments because of your post, Anonymous. But I will not do that. I chose to use my full name whenever I blog or make comments on other people's blogs. However, I can understand that some people are not comfortable with full disclosure. I have received many insightful and supportive comments from people who have chosen to remain anonymous and I can respect that, because unfortunately people with eating disorders and other mental illnesses still face stigma and discrimination. I want each person to feel free to post in a way he or she feels most comfortable.

Rest assured, Anonymous, you have not changed either how I feel about myself nor how I conduct my life and this blog.

Sincerely,
Angela

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

omg. that is purely awful. But, good for you for standing up for yourself and not letting it bother you!!! I hope to see you when things have settled down for you!

Robin

Sensory Overload said...

Really unfortunate that one must have such venom. However, way to stand in your own power Angela!!! I have nothing but so much respect for this.

Hoping that you are able to continue in your journey knowing that you are strong.

Be well.

-n

bananas said...

Wow, people can be such dicks.

Grace said...

When someone says something awful like that, she is usually looking in the mirror.

Ashley Swarthout said...

I love you, Angela, and I'm very proud to see you reacting in such an polite manner. A lot of people, no matter how old or mature they are, would have been so much ruder. (Is that a word?)

sarahlynn said...

Am so glad you've reacted in such a healthy manner. You're right, on all counts. *hugs*

Eating Alone said...

I love the way you responded to this. I first thought you would be so hurt, but I am so HAPPY that you moved on to see what sick person this must have been and how it should not bother you.

Good job!

Angela said...

Something is only as powerful as the importance we give it. Love you Angela!!

brokenwords said...

sigh... This makes me sad. Even if people don't always agree with something you say or do, there is no reason for such venom. And I guess this is the downside of a "public" life. My sense is that such people are probably very young. To use a word my near teenager always uses, there will always be "haters." And it's easy to be one on a blog.

I do think that at times constructive challenges (which may be taken as criticism if one is not in the right frame to be open to it at that moment in time) can be a good thing. But such words of hate are like you said - just sad for that person.

I have blogged for a long time but only recently switched sites, but for many years I had people who were very supportive, some who weren't, but many who challenged me to see the error of my ways, my delusions, my jaded thinking, etc. I've had people kick my butt, but in a way that was loving and challenging, and it was needed.

I hope through your writing you will be able to sort through these different types of people. Accept the support. Accept the challenges and agree or disagree with them, but try to see that not all challenges are meant to be hurtful. It's okay to disagree. And shake off the haters. They aren't worth feeling bad about. And yes - feel sorry for them, because only hurting people go out and randomly hurt others.

I wish you continued courage and succcess in this difficult time. There is light at the end of the tunnel, it's just a very long tunnel.

sophiebutterscotch said...

That person obviously needed a self-esteem boost so they felt that putting someone down would be perfect. It's sick and I truly hate people like that. You post is really powerful though :)

Great blog too!
Love Sophie.

Silly Girl said...

I loved how you handled this. It shows what kind of person you are. Rock on!

Anonymous said...

I have to admit, it makes me so nervous to see you still in recovery and fragile, and getting these comments. Please promise me that you will come talk to one of us--or whoever you are comfortable talking to, if you feel yourself starting to get sucked into negative thinking or feelings after reading one of those comments. (((((angela)))))

Robin--who always seems to forget to sign my name! ;-)

PTC said...

Hi, I'm new to your blog, but I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE that you totally snagged that "anonymous" person. That's awesome!!

Angela E. Gambrel Lackey said...

Thank you all for such wonderful support! You guys are awesome!!!!